Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
