There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
this just has baby written all over it
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
