Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize