Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize