butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
