That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
