At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
