I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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