i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
