did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
