it wasn't lemon gatorade
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
where are my eyebrows?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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