If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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