And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize