if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
