Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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