it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
