i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
