Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
