Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
