When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
