I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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