Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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