I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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