I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
