Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
