no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
