How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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