Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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