Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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