It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
