Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
