Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
