So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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