She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
