Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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