At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
