Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
