I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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