Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
