We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
