I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
