He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
