Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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