if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
