I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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