we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
