i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
