he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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