What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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