He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
