Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
