This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
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He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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