i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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