I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
