arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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