I feel great
I just peed on a car
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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